Award-winning actress and one of the
TIME 100 most influential persons,
Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and her husband
share their love story in a frank interview
with Punch. Below is a brief excerpt:
What was the initial attraction?
Matthew: She was beautiful, fresh and
untouched. I decided to start with
someone who hadn’t seen the world yet.
When did you propose to her?
Matthew: We didn’t court. I met her when
she was 16 and I was 26. We got married
when she was 18. She clocked 36 recently.
We were family friends and I met her
through my elder sister. She used to
come around the house and when she
turned 18, I decided she was ripe. I told
her I would marry her and she didn’t
believe. I went to tell her late mother,
who said I should wait till after four years
because Tola had just gained admission to
the university then. I told the mother that
I couldn’t wait because I didn’t trust the
guys in the university.
How can a woman have a successful
marriage?
Omotola: I don’t believe in gender
equality. I do not believe that God made
man and woman to be equal in any way. I
believe that in every organised institution,
there is always a head and an assistant. It
doesn’t mean that one should take the
other for granted, or disrespect the other.
I believe the husband is the head of the
home and the wife is an assistant.
My husband is a pilot, I have flown with
him several times and I understood that
there is a captain and a co-pilot. They are
both responsible for the passengers’
lives. But when there is a final decision to
make, it is up to the captain to make it. He
is more experienced and the one with the
responsibility. But any mature captain will
not ignore his co-pilot because the co-
pilot is not a cabin attendant. He is there
for a reason. It just depends on how you
understand and play your roles.
I believe women should understand this.
When a woman starts a struggle for
power tussle with him, it tends to cause
friction in the home. The woman should
give the man the respect as the head of
the home and also prove herself as a
worthy co-pilot. He needs to see you as a
reliable co-pilot. Sometimes, he may not
be the one running the house day-to-day,
you are the one to take decisions but you
have to do it in such a manner that he is
comfortable enough to see you as
someone he can rely on. When you have a
proud and egocentric husband, hand him
over to God. If you feel like your life is
being threatened, or that of your
children, get yourself out of that situation.
You owe your children that. Try
separation for a while, but before that,
you must have tried other things. I do not
believe that people should throw in the
towel in their marriage at every flimsy
excuse. You must have been a diligent
wife and tried prayers and intervention. If
all those fail, then you can remove
yourself from that situation. Also, couples
should be friends and communicate.
What we call love sometimes fizzles out.
True love comes from friendship. When
you don’t feel those initial sparks,
friendship is what keeps you together,
until when the spark comes again.
How do you feel when she plays
romantic roles in movies?
Matthew: They are all make-believe. They
are not real and most of her movies are
pecks and not kisses. I told her not to
cross that boundary.
What are the secrets of your successful
marriage?
Matthew: It is God’s grace. We are
disciplined and prayerful.
Omotola: It has to be God. There is no
other strategy. One person can be perfect
and the second person can be nasty. On
our part, I’d say also that we don’t look
at the relationship as something we can
walk away from. We look at it as a life
commitment. When you parents upset
you, you cannot divorce them. Even the
bible says you will leave your father and
your mother and cleave to your spouse.
Luckily, he doesn’t drink or smoke or
abuse me. I don’t have any major thing to
complain about, and I hope it is the same
thing for him.
Do you quarrel?
Matthew: Yes we do. A lot. She is very
argumentative. She always wants to be
right. You can never win an argument
with her. But she is the first to apologise.
Omotola: When there is a quarrel, I
usually apologise first. He doesn’t say
sorry. Overtime, I have come to realise
that it is an ego problem. Even when he
knows he is wrong, he will rather do every
other thing or buy things for me than say,
‘I’m sorry.’ Fortunately, the ‘sorrys’ are
not too many. He is very responsible and
more hardworking than me. By God’s
grace, we have been able to understand
our routine.
Do you still have time to cook?
Omotola: I cook all the time. I love to
cook. I don’t go to the market but I do
the cooking.
You go to the market for her?
Matthew: Yes and I don’t feel bad doing
it. I am not just doing it for her; I do it for
the family. I enjoy it a lot and I have been
doing it since we got married.
What pet names do you call each
other?
Matthew: I call her Omosexy.
Omotola: I call him Honey Boy
Do you see this love lasting forever?
Omotola: Yes, though I’m not playing
God, I believe our love shall be forever.
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